Ask yourself a question. How much time do you spend studying English everyday? I’m not talking about the studying you must do for school, I’m talking about the time that you spend on your own. If you are like most people, you study a lot one day, or for a few days, and then do nothing at all for several days. Then you start to feel guilty for not studying, so you decide that you are going to change that pattern again. You study very hard for a while and then eventually quit again.

Studying for 20 minutes every day is much better than studying for 2 hours and 20 minutes once a week. Your brain can only take in a certain amount of information at one time. If you study for longer than that at one time then you will forget much of what you have learned. Also, if you study for a short time each day, your brain has a chance to think about what you just learned, and then practice it before you study again the next day. Make studying a habit. Don’t have an all or nothing attitude. 10 minutes is still better than nothing. Always remember that.

Listen to a podcast, write a comment, read a blog. Just make sure you do something every day. If you can spend more time that is great, but make sure you can do something every single day. I challenge you to study English for 20 min every day for the next 30 days. You can’t do nothing one day and then 40 minutes the next. That doesn’t count. The challenge is that you must do it every single day for 30 days. Do you think you can do it? I know you can.

Here on the discussion forum, please tell us about what your English study habits have been like over the past 3 months. Then tell me how you plan to change them. Be clear about how you are going to use the 20 minutes. ie. how much time listening to podcasts, how much time reading, how much writing. If you want to do more that is ok too. Just write down how exactly you plan to spend your 20 minutes a day. At the end of the 30 days, I hope you write back and tell us your results. Was it easy? Did you learn and remember more than you usually do?

Good luck

Andrew

This is a very useful phrase in English and something that you can hopefully avoid doing in your own life.

A “barrel” is like a big jar. Scraping the bottom of the barrel quite literally means that the barrel has almost nothing left inside and you are trying very hard to see if you can get the last little bit out.

The way it is used is like this: If you are scraping the bottom of the barrel it means that the selection (choice) that you made isn’t the most desirable. You only made this choice because you had no better options and you felt you needed to choose something.

If the boss hired someone who didn’t seem very qualified for the job you could say he was scraping the bottom of the barrel. That means that he didn’t have any better people apply for the job so he chose them only because there was no other choice.

Imagine one of your friends is dating someone who is unattractive, rude, and seems to be a bad choice. You could say, “I don’t know why she would date a guy like that. She is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.”

Your comments are always appreciated.

Andrew

There are many differences in the relationship between children and their parents in Western and Eastern cultures.

In my opinion, I’d say that generally speaking the western style of parenting is like this:

A parent’s dream is that their child will grow up to be independent, healthy, and happy. Some parents have dreams of their children becoming famous doctors, successful lawyers, or some other thing, but in our culture it is more important that a person choose their own life. Parents often say, “do whatever makes you happy”. Of course when a child is young, western parents look out for the child’s safety and don’t just simply allow the child to do anything. For example, a western parent wouldn’t allow their 8 year old child to stay out very late at night by himself. It’s too dangerous. As the child grows up, she gains more and more independence. Parents will give their advice but they usually won’t try to force you to do something. They might tell you they don’t really like your boyfriend or girlfriend, but they’d never say something like “you are not allowed to marry them”. It doesn’t make sense in our culture. Parents just want to give as much advice as possible to their children so that hopefully the child makes good decisions. Western parents usually encourage open discussion. They want to hear the kid’s ideas and opinions. They want to understand them. It’s ok to argue and debate ideas as long as the child isn’t being rude or disrespectful. It’s ok to say, “Dad, I think you are completely wrong about this and these are my reasons for thinking this way”. Then after hearing that the dad would probably try to explain why he thought his ideas made more sense. In the west, it is considered ridiculous for a parent to say something like, “I am your father. I have more experience than you so you should listen to me”. The mother or father should try to use logic and reason to try to convince their child what is correct.

When the child is still living at his parent’s house and is still depending on his parent’s for money, the parents still have some control over what the child does. For example, most parent’s wouldn’t allow their 18 year old kid to quit school and just stay at home watching tv. A common phrase in the west that parents say is “as long as you are living under my roof you will live by my rules”. In other words, the parents are still the boss until the child moves out of the house and pays for everything himself. When a child finally does move out of his parent’s house and becomes financially independent, we generally consider the child to be an adult. As an adult they can totally make their own decisions without their parent’s interference. My parents would probably be happier if I lived in Canada and closer to them, but they would never try to make me feel guilty for living in China. I’m encouraged to make my own decisions and create my own life. They are happy if they believe I am happy. They are comfortable that I can pay for myself and they don’t expect me to pay for them when they get older. On the other hand, I can’t ask them for money anymore either. If I really needed some they would give it to me, but it would be very embarrassing to ask and it would be disappointing for everyone if this happened. This would mean that I can’t take care of myself, which isn’t a good thing for a 28 year old.

My experience in China tells me that the situation here is quite different. My friends tell me that parents are becoming more open minded than before, but there are still some differences. I have several friends in their mid 20’s in Shanghai who have pressure from their parents to get married soon and have a baby soon. It seems to me that people here feel a lot of cultural pressure to follow their parent’s wishes. They feel that they need to give them money when the parents are old, even if the parents don’t need it. They feel they need to marry someone who their parents approve of. They often tell me that I am lucky because I don’t have to worry about these things. They tell me that they would like to have freedom to do whatever they want but they feel that they have no choice. They have a hard time having an open and fair discussion with their parents.

It also seems more common in the east that even the extended family can influence decisions. It’s not uncommon for me to hear of people’s aunts, uncles, or grandparents giving someone pressure. In the west, this is very very rare. I couldn’t imagine my aunt or uncle telling me what I should do. Since I am an adult now, it would be just as silly for me to tell my aunt and uncle what they should do. It just doesn’t happen. Since we are both adults, it doesn’t matter who is older. We are both independent and are considered equal.

I’d love to hear about where you are from and your relationship with your parents and your other relatives. Is this common in your culture? What would you do differently if you have children. What things do you like about the western parenting styles? What things do you like about the Eastern parenting styles? Is there anything else that you could share? Please share your stories and ideas on the discussion forum. This is your chance to practice your writing. You have no excuse so don’t be lazy. Don’t waste any time. Do it now!

Andrew

This post is inspired by Anas’ comments on one of my last posts. Thanks for the comments Anas, and thanks for sharing the website with your classmates. We really appreciate it.

Your writing was quite good in the comment, but there are a few words I’d like to advise you on. The words “Fond”, “Keen”, and “Ought to” are words that I personally never use. They aren’t wrong but they sound very old to me. They are words that I often hear my grandparents using but no one younger. Maybe some people in other English speaking countries still use them, I’m not sure, but my personal opinion is to avoid using them.

You could say, “I’ve always been a fan of your posts”, “I’ve always really liked your posts”, or “I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts”. Those sentences sound less old fashioned than, “I’ve always been keen on your posts”.

The phrase “ought to” can always be replaced with “should”. It may sound boring to use “should” all the time, but that’s what we do.

The word “fond” can be replaced with, “like” or “enjoy”. “I really like your podcasts”, or “I enjoy listening to your podcasts” sound more natural than “I am fond of your podcasts”.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your thoughtful comments. I hope to read more soon.

Also, make sure you are practicing your writing on our discussion forum. There’s only one way to improve your writing and that is to practice. No excuses!

Andy