In Canada, you can play golf at a VERY nice golf course for under $200 per time.  Sometimes it’s much less than $100.  And I’m talking about really beautiful golf courses, not just average ones.

So why then, would any reasonable person pay $100 000 per year for a membership?  It made no sense to me before.  Now it makes perfect sense.

These guys aren’t paying for how nice the golf course is.  That is only part of it.  It’s a small part actually.  What they are really paying for is the community.  Think about the other people who go to those courses.  Most of them are also successful business people.  They pay for status and ability to meet these people.  They talk and do business together.  They make friends and get their children in this rich group of successful people.  In some ways, the whole thing makes me sick.  I wish the world were a more fair place.  But the reality is that it’s not.  It does make sense for these people to stay together, meet each other, and network together.

It’s MUCH more likely that you will meet someone worth doing business with on one of these super expensive golf courses than if you were to try to meet these types of people at other places where “regular” people can go.

I was thinking about this because I was thinking about a social networking website for English learning.  These aren’t the exact same thing, but you’ll see what I mean in a minute…

People who speak English as a second language and are actually serious about improving their English, their business, their lives, etc, don’t have anywhere to go to meet each other online.  There are a lot of garbage websites that allow anyone on there.  If you want to speak with someone to “practice your English”, you can absolutely find a partner on a million free sites.

But the problem with this is HUGE.  These sites that allow anyone to join, attract people who aren’t really serious about learning English or really serious about anything at all.  Why?  Because most people in the world are not serious about anything they are doing.

If you want to meet a partner to speak English with, share ideas, share stories, share culture, you will want to meet someone who is at or above your level.  You want someone who can challenge you and you can learn from.  It’s not easy to find these people, but they exist.

Imagine for a second that you wrote on your Facebook page, “I am looking for someone to learn from, talk about business and life, and really challenge each other to improve our English skills”.  I can’t imagine you will find anyone.  Maybe, if you are lucky, someone will say “Yes” to your offer, but they probably won’t be the type of person you are hoping for.

As you probably know, Add and I have been making a new free video EVERY DAY at www.LearnEnglish232.com  

We are hoping to get people to get in the habit of going there every day for the new lessons.  We want to grow that site to 50 000 visitors per day.

But many of the people who find this site or that site aren’t super serious about learning English.  We also want to find the SUPER SERIOUS people and provide an opportunity for amazing English, business, and life learning that does not exist anywhere else on the internet.  That’s our goal.

The people who are not serious will not pay a small monthly fee to join the membership part.  And that’s great.  Our plan is to build a membership site for serious learners.  Everyone will have a great profile with an awesome photo, bio, linkedIn page, Skype number, where they are from…  A lot of stuff.  Then these people will be able to search through the other serious members and we can all have a really high level and private conversation.  Also, the members will be able to contact each other and set up high level language exchanges and other things.  It will be a real community.  I’ll be on there providing reading material, movie talk, technology stuff, and a bunch of interesting and high level topics for group discussion.  We’ll all push ourselves to get better and better in not only English, but in life too.

I want to have a lot of great free English learning content for everyone to enjoy, and a high level SUPER VIP program that is connected to this one and also adds a lot more.  We’re still talking about how we want the site to be.  And since some of you guys who are reading this right now will be interested in joining it, it would be great to hear your ideas now.  We are building it for you and other high level people like you.

What do you think of this idea?  What would you like to see in that program?

Help us design it with your ideas and then it will be much better that way!

And by the way, don’t worry, it won’t be expensive like an elite golf course!  It doesn’t need to be.  The only reason I used that example was to try to make a point.

Love to hear your thoughts guys.  By the way, does anyone here already have the great habit of going to www.LearnEnglish232.com everyday yet?  What do you think?  Have you shared it with your friends, students, or teachers?  What do they think?  We’re still in the beginning stages of developing this, and we’re sure this will be the best yet!

It will be connected in some way with China232.com VIP membership, so don’t worry about that.  We’ll take care of you guys and make it kick ass!  There will be tons of amazing free stuff for everyone and an insanely awesome high level private English learning VIP club.

Sounds like a win/win to me!  What are your thoughts on this whole topic?  Even the part about rich people paying so much for golf.  Does it make sense to you too?

Your comments are always appreciated.  You guys have been great lately with that.  Keep it up.  I read EVERY one!!

Give yourself a break!  What do I mean?  I’m not talking about a holiday (although, going on a holiday is pretty sweet).

I’m just talking about giving yourself a break from any feelings you have of guilt.  We all have things that we’re feeling guilty about, maybe not super guilty, but even just a little.

Maybe your diet hasn’t been great lately.  Maybe you haven’t been the greatest boyfriend or girlfriend in your relationship lately.  Maybe you aren’t happy with how little you’ve been exercising or studying.  Maybe you have been doing as well as you’d like in business or at work.  I don’t know.  But I am guessing there is probably at least one thing in your life where you feel like you are kind of  blaming or even hating yourself in some way.

My advice today is simple:  Take a break from any self-hate, guilt, or worry that you have for at least today.  Just take a moment to realize that this worry and guilt you feel isn’t helping you.

I’m not saying that you should just do whatever you want and not care anymore.  I’m just suggesting that you take one day to completely forgive yourself 100% for anything that you are blaming yourself for.  Forget about what you did or didn’t do.  The blame isn’t helping the situation.  You should also stop blaming other people or outside events.  Just accept whatever situation you are in, at least for today.  See how you feel.

Just smile, relax, and enjoy being you.  None of us are perfect and we all have things we are blaming ourselves for.  It sucks our energy and makes us feel less confident, less happy, and just worse in pretty much every way.  This self blame, even if it is pretty small, isn’t helping the people around you either.

So just let go of any pain from the past that you are holding onto.  Today is a new day and you can change anything in your life starting now.  It will be a lot easier to do this if you can stop dragging the pain from the past into each and every day.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.   Your responses to the last blog were absolutely amazing by the way!

Have a great day

I was watching some Hollywood comedy movies last night, while pigging out on ice cream, and I was reminded of both these terms below.  I used them a lot when I was in high school, and my friends and I use them quite a bit now.  Native speakers will LOVE it when you use this stuff.

First one is:

Butt Ugly:  If someone is “Butt Ugly” it means they are super ugly.  They are the total opposite of someone who is hot.  It’s a very common but very mean thing to say.  It’s usually used between friends when they are talking about a person who isn’t in the room.  (It’s horrible if you say this directly to someone’s face).  And of course it’s not nice to talk about people’s appearance in a negative way, but let’s face it, it still happens all the time in real life.

So, “butt ugly” is super ugly.  You can say “Butt ugly” or just “butt”.  ”Butt” is even more slang and it’s hilarious.

Example 1:  ”I can’t believe he’s dating her.  She’s butt ugly”

Example 2:  ”Does anyone honestly think she’s hot?  I think she’s totally butt”

(Tell a native speaker you learned this phrase and they will laugh for sure)

Oh ya, I just remembered, it doesn’t always have to be about people either.  This phrase can be used to describe some things.  Someone could say something like, “I think the colors you use on your website look butt ugly”.  Or “Do you think anyone will buy from your site?  It looks butt”

The second one is:

“Drop Dead Gorgeous”

This is a set phrase that means “absolutely beautiful”.  It is used together and you can’t change the words.  You can’t say “dead gorgeous” for example.  You can’t even say “drop dead beautiful”.  Those things sound super weird.  It’s always, “Drop dead gorgeous”.  Remember that.

Example 1:  ”She looked drop dead gorgeous in her wedding dress”

Example 2:  ”That sunset is drop dead gorgeous”

I hope you liked these ones!  Pay attention to native speakers and I’m sure you’ll start hearing these phrases often!

**For the fastest results EVER, Add and I highly recommend you get a VIP Membership

Anyway, we are staying in the island of Koh Phang an.  A lot of the tourists here are from non native speaking countries.  There are a ton of Europeans and a ton of Russians.  It’s a great place for me to think up new lessons, because I can hear the real mistakes people all over the world are making.

The first term that is a good one is this:

“Can you watch my stuff?”

or “Do you mind watching my stuff for a minute?”

This idea of “watching my stuff” is how native speakers ask someone else to make sure that their things are safe and no one steals them.

Imagine I’m sitting on a big towel on the beach.  I’ve got my cell phone, my wallet, and a few other things I really don’t want anyone to steal.  Now imagine I want to go swimming.  I can’t take this stuff in the water so I need someone to look after it and make sure no one steals it.  If I see someone near me, I can say, “Do you mind watching my stuff for a few minutes while I go swimming?  Thanks”  That is a polite and normal way of saying, “I’ll be back soon.  Please just make sure no one steals this”.  Another way of saying this is “Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a few minutes?”  These are great phrases.

Ok, now for the second phrase:

Imagine I am standing in line waiting for a fresh fruit salad.  (These are awesome here!)

I can either eat the fruit salad at the tables here, or I can carry it back to my hotel and eat it there.  People often make the mistake of saying “Can I get this take away” if they want to take it home.  ”Take away” or “Take out” is used on a restaurant sign to tell customers that this is an option.  You don’t say “take away” or “take out” when you are ordering take out.

You should say “To go”

So the way to order a fruit salad, or anything, is this:

“Can I get one fruit salad to go please?”

or if you are ordering something else, you could say, “Can I get this to go please?”

So when you are ordering take out, just say “I’d like to get this to go“.  It’s how real native speakers speak.  I hope this helps!  Love to read your comments below!

“I can’t believe I couldn’t get the company to sing the deal with us. I could see in their eyes they really wanted to sign, but I was really nervous when I was speaking with them and I somehow just totally dropped the ball with the whole thing. Now they won’t even answer our emails.”

“My friend had a really beautiful and friendly girlfriend. They were dating for 3 years and thinking of getting married. They had a great time together and rarely fought. Last Friday night he got super drunk and slept with another girl. His girlfriend found out and she left him. He’s really kicking himself for dropping the ball on that one.

“He slept through (didn’t wake up) his alarm clock and missed a huge job interview. Now he has no chance to get the job he really wanted. He was so excited about it beforehand. I can’t believe he dropped the ball on that one. I really feel sorry for him.”

If you “Throw someone under the bus” it means that you tell other people about the bad things that person did. You tattle tail on them. It’s not very nice to do, but it’s a reality in the business world. It’s publicly blaming other people.

Here is an example sentence of how to use this like a native speaker: “I absolutely hate that new guy at work. He always tries to look good in front of the boss by throwing his colleagues under the bus. He does it even for small meaningless little things. He’s such a loser”

So imagine that you and another colleague went to do some presentation together. Then imagine you were 5 minutes late for the meeting. If your colleague decides to tell your boss about that, he’s “throwing you under the bus”. The only reason he’s telling the boss is to make you look bad. It’s a horrible thing to do.

You can also “throw yourself under the bus”. That basically means to take on some risk that isn’t necessary for something. Here’s an example: “I really trust you so I’m going to throw myself under the bus and not force you to sign this document. My boss would kill me if he knew I was doing this, but I don’t think it’s a big deal and I’m sure you won’t trick me”.

It’s a useful phrase and I hope you try it out! Native speakers will be impressed.

If you want to take your English to a higher level really fast, take a minute and consider treating yourself to one year in the VIP room. It will be worth every penny and more!

It’s generally true that in most educated circles, ie. most groups of people, you sound like a retarded fool if you really hate “gay people”. Why would you hate them?

Some people are so sensitive to the word though, that in my opinion, it makes them look retarded. You need to hear and understand it in context.

Most people are straight, unless the whole world is lying, and calling something “gay” shouldn’t be a big deal as long as you don’t hate the real gay people.

I was watching the basketball game with my buddies a couple weeks ago and one guy kept saying, “This is going to sound a bit gay but…” He’s a nice guy and doesn’t hate gays at all. It’s just somehow accepted in society to speak like that. You can joke around with your friends and say that their dancing looks “gay”. Their new clothes look “gay” or their new business idea sounds “gay”. The last one just means that it sounds like a bad business idea. It’s easy to understand in context. If you hate this word, I am sorry, I’m just trying to explain how it’s used in real life.

So back to my buddy. He’s not gay at all, but he was saying things like, “I know this sounds a bit gay, but I can totally understand why girls would like to date NBA players. A lot of them seem like super cool guys and they are obviously rich”.

We know he’s not gay, but he’s just saying that he can understand things from a girl’s perspective. I see it as “all in good fun” and not hateful in any way. Some people may disagree, but I thought it would be good to share my honest opinion on the use of a very popular word in our spoken language today. I’d say “Go ahead and use it, but be a little bit careful and sensitive to the feelings of others”.

I’ll be Tweeting all blog posts and putting them on Facebook. Please make sure you are following there so you know when they are ready.

I’d love to read your comments as always!

She’s a wonderful woman but her driving is sometimes a bit ridiculous. Add was sitting in the passenger seat (also known as “shotgun”) and I was in the back seat.

My mom drives differently than I would. She’s pretty safe but I feel a bit scared because I think that she always stops later than she should. Sometimes from the back of the car I will yell something like “slow down” or “stop” or “what are you doing!!!!!”

That’s called being a “back seat driver”. I’m not actually driving the car because I’m in the back seat. I’m a “back seat driver” in this case because I’m sitting in the back seat of the car and giving my mom instructions on how to do a better job driving. Everyone hates back seat drivers when they are on the road but I admit to being one sometimes.

I’m sure you’ve had or seen this experience sometime in your life. You might even see it everyday! Now at least you know what it is and what to call this kind of person.

It is a “black sheep”. Here is the idea. Most sheep are white but every once in a while it’s possible to find a black sheep.

If someone is “a bit of a black sheep” it means that they are unusual. They are different than what you would expect. This is not necessarily a bad thing to be, it just means different.

For example, imagine that a husband and wife had 6 kids. If 5 of the kids became doctors and one of the kids became a businessman, you could call the businessman, “a bit of a black sheep”.

Here is the way it could be used in a daily conversation:

A: All of Scott’s brothers and sisters are doctors. I wonder how he decided to start his own business.

B: I’m not really sure but I’ve always known that Scott has been a bit of a black sheep.

Reverse culture shock is more unusual. Reverse culture shock is the uneasy feeling you have when you return to your own culture after having lived away from it for a while. Obviously, the longer you’ve lived away, the stronger reverse culture shock is. When I first learned about reverse culture shock I didn’t give it much thought at all. I couldn’t even imagine that I’d ever have these feelings. I’ve since learned that reverse culture shock is much stronger and more unusual than I’d ever imagined.

Imagine coming back to your own country after living somewhere else for several years. You see your old friends and family and try to catch up (catching up means to talk to someone you haven’t seen in a long time. You need to make up for lost time and share all the stories that have happened since you last spoke). Things change slowly so you don’t really notice how you’ve changed over the years. After talking with your friends and family, you realize that things aren’t quite the same as you remembered. They seem to think differently than you do now. They talk about different topics than you do. They have a different understanding of the world than you do. It can be quite difficult to fit in with your old culture. I find that it’s a very weird feeling, especially since I never really believed it could happen to me.

Add and I are back in Canada for the summer. We’ve already been here for over a month. I’m starting to get used to life here again, but it was really hard at first. In some ways, I forgot what Canadians are like.

One of the biggest things that surprised me was how much people here talk about houses.  A lot of people are always commenting on how someone else’s house is really “sweet” (sweet is slang for amazing), and what they plan to do to make their own house even sweeter.  They love to make their house and yard look really nice.  I’m not saying it is a bad thing, but it’s something I’d never really noticed before.  When people start talking about this, I find that I’m quiet because I have nothing really to say about it.

Please share any of your own culture shock or reverse culture shock experiences.