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This saying is a great one to use when you have the right opportunity. It basically means that the secret is out in the open and is no longer a secret.

Imagine this situation:

You plan to quit your job but you don’t want to tell too many people until after you actually quit. You decided to tell only one friend but don’t want to tell any other people. Now you are together with many friends, including the one you told. By accident, the friend you told you are going to quit your job asked you in front of everyone, “so when exactly are you going to quit”? Everyone hears this question and says, “What? I didn’t know you were planning on quitting”.

Then you could say, “Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag”. It means that the secret is out in the open now and I’m not going to hide from the truth anymore.

Andy

Learning and Improving English Phrases and idioms

I’ll be honest. I don’t like mornings. A “morning person” is someone who easily wakes up early and feels their best in the morning. Unfortunately I’m not one of these people. I usually don’t start feeling my best until late in the afternoon. I’m often tired and stupid in the mornings. In the morning I can easily waste a couple of hours in front of the computer without really getting much work done. I almost feel like I don’t remember who I am and what I want to do in life. It usually takes me several hours to get back to the good state of mind I was in the night before. What a waste of time.

I started to wonder why that is. I often hear that some people are naturally “morning people” while others aren’t. I really don’t like that simple explanation and I have set out to become more of a morning person.

I realized that in order to feel my best, I need to have done certain things that day. If I just crawl out of bed and sit in front of the computer, I’ll feel sluggish (tired) and lazy.

I made a small full-body exercise routine that I do as soon as I get up. After that I take 10 full deep breaths, then I do some stretching. That all takes me about 15 minutes. The purpose of that is to get my blood flowing and give me the feeling that I can move my body easily. This also releases hormones that fight fatigue and make my body feel awake.

After I do that, I jump in the shower, get dressed, and then make a healthy breakfast and one cup of coffee. By this time I’m feeling pretty good physically but I still have some more work to do until I’m feeling at my best.

At this point I read a few affirmations to myself that I think will help put me in a good frame of mind. An affirmation is a statement that you want to believe is true. Here are three example affirmations:

“Today is going to be a great day.”

“I am going to eat only healthy food today and feel great about it”.

“I’m going to be relaxed today and not let little things stress me out”.

You can make any affirmations that you think are appropriate for your own life. I think they are useful to remind me how I want to live. If I read these in the morning, I find I am much more likely to follow them.

Then I ask myself some questions that help me plan my day.

I ask myself some questions like:

“What do I want to do today for work?” “What do I want to learn about today?” and “What am I going to do for fun today?”

After I ask these questions I’m feeling great and ready to get on with my day. The whole morning routine takes me about an hour but I think it is definitely worth it. I suggest making your own morning routine or improving the one you already have. I’d love to hear about what works for you. Maybe I can learn from you and improve my routine.

Andy

Self Improvement

Add and I got back last week from an amazing vacation in Thailand. We stayed on the Island of Koh Chang, the second largest island in Thailand. We stayed near “White Sands beach” and each rented bungalows for about 15 US dollars per night. These bungalows are small houses with a bedroom, a bathroom, fridge, hot water, and air conditioning. They also have cheaper bungalows, but those have cold water showers and no air conditioning. I’m a baby when it comes to cold water so I had no choice.

The weather was great and we pretty much just swam, hung out on the beach, read books, ate great food, exercised, and partied. I hadn’t been out of the city for an entire year which made this trip so great. I loved the warm weather, fresh air, and relaxed attitude of the people. I realized that I can quite easily enjoy a simple life. I love being outside on a sunny day with some good friends and then watching the sunset go down over the ocean. I don’t really need or want many material things. Good weather, good friends, good books, and a place to exercise is enough for me.

I also realized that I’ve never regretted taking a vacation. I always come back feeling better than when I left. It puts me in a great mood and gives me a new perspective on life. I think when you take a vacation like that, you not only take a vacation from your work, but you take a vacation from all your worries and stresses. Being in a new place and around new people make you forget about your old life and any problems or worries you have. That’s a great feeling. The new environment also causes you to think about new things or think about things in a different way. I read that 90% of someone’s thoughts on one day are the same as they were the previous day. I’m not sure how accurate that number is but if it is even close to true it seems ridiculous. I think that was my favorite aspect of the trip; thinking about new things. I feel a bit different now, a bit better.

I met an interesting guy from England when I was there. He had just sold his house in London in the past six months and moved to Thailand. All his friends in England thought he was crazy for doing it but he says it was the best decision he’s ever made. He’s now out of the stresses of city life and he’s enjoying every breath of fresh air. He said he realized that he’d always liked the beach, so he just made the obvious decision to move to there. He knows what he likes and he’s doing it. I don’t think that’s true of most people. I think that most people are too caught up in what society tells them they should do. Most people wouldn’t have the courage to make that kind of decision, even if they knew it was what they wanted to do. Of course it takes money to make that decision, but courage and confidence in your own ideas are probably even more important.

Andy

I’ve talked to so many people recently who are unhappy with their situation in life. The problem is that most of these people feel as though they have no other options. They make excuses for why their life is the way it is and just keep on being unhappy with it. When I ask them what they plan to do to change their situation in life, they have very few answers.

I think a huge problem for most people is that they don’t even consider most of the opportunities available to them. They seem to only consider the opportunities that seem the easiest, or the most obvious.

In reality you could do almost anything. You could move to another city or country. You could go back to school. You could look for another job. You could go on a holiday and take time to think. You could get a gym membership and get in the best shape of your life. You could take some interesting class after work. You could start hanging out at different places and try to make new kinds of friends. You could do any or all of those things.

If you are a negative person, you could probably read each of those possibilities I gave you above and tell me some reason why it would be really difficult for you to do it. The point is that if you really wanted to do any of those things you could probably make it happen.

The reason people get caught so easily in bad and boring situations is that they are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of change. I know what that feels like. Although boring, it’s much easier to keep living the same way you always have and to keep doing the same things you’ve always done. Even though you know it would be exciting, making a big change is scary because you don’t know exactly what will happen. I know; I moved across the world. Unfortunately, if you keep living the same way you will keep getting the same results. Your life won’t change at all unless you do. Only fools would rely on luck.

Even if you are pretty happy with your life, I’m sure that there is at least one area that you would like to improve. For me, I’d like to start meeting new kinds of people. I’ve noticed that I’ve been going to the same bars and hanging out with the same people for the last 6 months or so. I’m in a “comfort zone”. I realize that I need to start doing some new things this year in order to make some new kinds of friends. My problem lately has been that I haven’t even been paying any attention to what kinds of new things I could be doing. Even though I live in a huge city with so many things to do, only a few ideas come into my mind for what I could do. I need to change this.

If you want to change jobs, don’t waste time complaining about it! Start looking for a new job. If you have been looking lately but haven’t found anything, start looking for new ways to find a job. Look for new job websites. Don’t be afraid to contact different people to get their advice on what you should do.

Whatever it is you want to change or improve, start it right now. Don’t live tomorrow the same way you lived today unless you want to be in the exact same position tomorrow as you are now. Also remember, don’t just try something. Try something different that you have never tried before. If that doesn’t work, try something else.

I’d love for you to share your experiences!

Andy.

Self Improvement

I noticed the other day that my mood and the emotions I feel at any time, are very often unrelated to the present situation that I am actually experiencing. For example, if I hear my alarm clock go off in the morning and I know that I have to wake up to do something I don’t want to do, I’ll feel pretty annoyed and I won’t be in a great mood. On the other hand, if I hear my alarm clock go off in the morning and I realize that I have to wake up to get ready to catch an airplane to go on a fun vacation, I’ll be in a great mood.

I find it interesting that my mood can be so different even when what I am doing is exactly the same. For example, getting ready to do something I don’t want to do is the same as getting ready to do something I would love to do. I have to wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, put my clothes on, etc. (I actually put my clothes on before eating breakfast!)

If you are unhappy with your job or another part of your life, it is easy to allow that unhappiness to affect other areas of your life. For example, if someone doesn’t like their job, they are not only unhappy during the 8 hours at work. They often are also unhappy when they wake up because they are thinking about how bad the day is going to be, they are unhappy while driving to work because they are thinking of how boring their job is, they are unhappy after work because they think about how boring the next day will be.

What you think about is so unbelievably important for feeling good (or feeling bad). What you think about determines your emotional state much more than what you are doing does. You could be at work doing a really boring job, but have a big smile on your face because you are thinking of a joke that your friend told you. You could also be at a really fun party with your best friends, and be feeling bad because you are thinking about how you are still angry with your boyfriend or girlfriend for something they did a week before.

Try not to allow yourself to feel bad for no good reason. If you are feeling bad, just realize that it’s most likely because of what you are thinking about, not what is actually happening at that moment. What you are actually doing at that moment probably isn’t really that bad. Try to think of things that you like to think about instead of thinking about what you hate. If you don’t like your job, think of a good plan about how you can get a new job, or how you can make your current job better. If you can’t think of something to make your situation better, then think about something else that you enjoy. Don’t just waste your time thinking about how bad something is. That’s ridiculous!

I always look forward to your comments!

Andrew

Self Improvement

Many English learners often complain about not being able to remember the new words that they learn. They feel frustrated, and unmotivated to continue studying. These students often feel that they have a memory problem, as if there is something physically wrong with this part of their brain. Since they feel they can’t remember what they learn, they find studying to be a waste of time.

If you want to have a better memory, it’s essential to understand how memory works. Many people think that simply looking at something many times should allow them to remember it. This seems sensible, but it is very untrue. Think about something that you see everyday. (Maybe a one dollar bill of your country’s money) You’ve probably seen this piece of paper thousands of times, but how well do you remember it? Could you draw a picture of it without looking at it? Do you even know which side of the president’s face (left or right) you can see? I’m sure there are many things that you see everyday that you can’t draw a picture of.

Here is an interesting thing to think about. Imagine that I have never seen your country’s money before. Now let’s suppose that you give me a one dollar bill (or something similar) to study for 2 minutes. After only 2 minutes, I’ll probably know more about what is on that picture than you do, even though you’ve seen it thousands of times before. Why is that? Remembering something takes energy, so our brains will only remember what we think will be important in the future. Knowing what exactly is on the money is not important. It’s only important to know if it’s a 5, 10, or 100 dollar bill.

Seeing or hearing something does not make us remember it.  We don’t remember most of what we see or hear each day. If we want to remember something well, we need to pay attention to it. We need to notice many things about it. We need to use it. We need to feel that it’s important to remember.

Here is an exercise for you to try.

1. Choose one NEW English word that you want to learn. Get mentally prepared to remember it. Tell yourself that this is a very important word and you must remember it. (If you are tired or not motivated to remember, you will be much less likely to remember it.) Get excited about it!

2. Read it out loud 3 times (make sure you know how to pronounce it, use a dictionary if you aren’t sure).

3. Write it down and make sure you know how to spell it.

3. Look up the meaning in the dictionary and make sure you understand it.

4. Write 3 different sentences on a piece of paper with that word in it.

5. Read those sentences out loud.

6. Think of 2 situations that you might actually be in, where you plan to use that word in the future.

For example, let’s suppose you wanted to learn the word, “pediatrician“.

A pediatrician is a special kind of doctor who works with babies.

Now you should think of some sentences using this word that you might actually use.

Depending on your situation, your sentences might be,

“My mom told me that I never saw pediatrician when I was a baby”.

“A friend of mine is thinking of studying to become a pediatrician because she likes babies”.

“Do you have many pediatricians in your country?”

This might sound like a lot of effort, but at least it will help you to not only remember the word, but also be able to actually use it in the future.

I’ve actually seen students with a long list of words that they are supposed to remember. They simply write each word down 20 times on a piece of paper, and then hope they remember the words in the future. This is a terrible method of studying! Even if you do remember some of the words, you have wasted a lot of time and effort. You will also be less likely to be able to think of those words quickly during a conversation. If you want to use words, you need to know how to use them in sentences.

Try this method, or something similar, and share with us your experience.

I’d love to hear from you as always.

Andrew

Learning and Improving English

It’s incredibly easier to read something in a foreign language than it is to write in a foreign language. In order to read, all you really need is a decent vocabulary and a basic sense of grammar. Writing is a totally different story. You need to choose the words and phrases yourself, and then somehow put them all in a good order. Since writing is much more difficult, most learners don’t practice as much as they should. When students actually do write something, they realize that their writing is somewhat childlike. This awkward feeling of realizing that their English writing is at a much lower level than they’d like, prevents them from continuing to practice. Instead, they just try to forget about this weakness and just hope it will go away sometime. Unfortunately, it never does and the student is frustrated for years about being such a poor writer.

Some people tell me that they would practice writing more, but they need a native speaker to correct their writing, or it is a waste of time. I agree that in a perfect world it would be nice to have this luxury. Unfortunately, this is unrealistic thinking. It would be very difficult, if not impossible, to find someone willing to correct your writing for free all the time. I’d like to do it on this website, but with so many students it’s impossible. I’d instead prefer to read what you guys write, and make general comments on areas where most people are having problems. I think it is more beneficial to everyone that way.

The truth is that even if you don’t have anyone to correct your writing, it is still extremely important to practice it. Just the act of trying to write something, tests your own mind to search for the most suitable words and phrases. It helps you understand where your own weaknesses are and where you need improvement. If you find that you can’t express a certain idea, the next time you read a native speaker writing about this idea, it will “jump out” at you and you will be more likely to remember it for the next time you write. If you never write, you will be unaware at the topics, expressions, and types of sentences that are giving you the most difficulty. Remember that understanding something is much easier than producing it yourself. It’s the same with anything. I could watch someone else build a house and I’d feel that I understood the process. But if you asked me to go out to an open field and build a house by myself, I’d be utterly useless. I’d probably just lie down on the grass and take a nap. If I did start to do work on the house, I’d see where I needed help and I’d most certainly pay more attention to that part the next time I was watching someone else build one.

There’s no better time to start practicing than now, so let’s see what you can do.

Here’s today’s topic:

WHICH ONE IMPROVEMENT COULD YOU MAKE ABOUT YOURSELF THAT WOULD HAVE THE GREATEST IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE?

Please share this website with your friends, colleagues, and classmates

Andrew

Learning and Improving English

“Complacency” is the feeling you have when you are satisfied with your current level or ability in some area of your life. This feeling can cause you to stop putting in 100% effort to improve. It makes you feel relaxed and unmotivated. Complacency is a big reason why so many people achieve an ok level at something, and then stop improving.

This can happen in any area of your life, but let’s take a look at your English level. As I’ve said many times before, if you can use this website, it means your English level is already fairly good. You can “get by” in life using English. You know that you should improve, you say that you want to improve, but in a lot of ways there is no real pressure for you to improve. Let’s face it; you can already communicate with people in English at a reasonable level. You also are starting to realize that the more you study, the less noticeable your improvement is. You could probably spend an entire day studying English, and neither you, nor anyone else would notice that you improved. That’s a sad thought and that feeling certainly makes it difficult to find the motivation to study.

I believe that complacency is one of the biggest differences between highly successful people and regular people.  The most successful people are always trying to improve. They want to be the best they can be. Regular people get satisfied easily. Think about Roger Federer. He still practices tennis everyday, even though it is almost impossible for him to improve because he is already so good.

Here is the truth: There are literally millions of other people like you around the world who speak English as a second language and have reached an ok level. Most people in this group reach an ok level and then stop improving. They get lazy. Very few people reach the next level because of complacency. Just because your English level is ok, don’t let that stop you from studying really hard. Reaching that next level will give you better job opportunities and the ability to interact with more people. You will feel comfortable reading anything, and speaking to anyone about any topic easily and with no stress. The hard work will eventually pay off, and deep down you know that too. Keep focused and don’t let the disease of complacency get to you.

I’m interested in hearing about anytime in your life where you’ve let complacency take over and prevent you from giving a 100% effort. I really hope that if this is happening with your current English study habits, you will STOP IT!

Andrew

Learning and Improving English Self Improvement

A pigeon is a type of bird, and a pigeon hole is a very small hole made in a piece of wood for pigeons to stay in. This hole is only slightly bigger than the pigeon, so the pigeon has little room to move.

If you “pigeon hole” someone, it means that you make too many generalizations about that person based on a steriotype. It’s a bad thing to “pigeonhole” people. For example, a common steriotype is that accountants are a little boring. If you meet an accountant and think that he must be boring just because he is an accountant, you are pigeonholing him.

You could say to someone, “You shouldn’t pigeonhole all accountants as being boring. I know a few accountants who are a lot of fun to hang out with.”

Phrases and idioms

If you “take something in stride” it means that you didn’t allow a bad situation to make you too stressed or depressed.   It means that you handled the bad news well.  It’s a good thing to be able to take something in stride.

Here’s a possible dialog:

A: Hey, did you hear that Jim got fired from his job?

B: Ya, he called me last night and told me.

A: How’s he doing?

B: He seems to be taking it in stride.

This means that Jim is doing a good job at handling the disappointment of getting fired. He’s not getting stressed out and going crazy about it.

Here’s another example:

A: Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that your girlfriend left you. How are you feeling?

B: I’m doing ok. I think this breakup might actually make us both happier.

A: I’m glad to hear you are taking it in stride.

Andy

Phrases and idioms