Asian Girl Dating Choices Part II
Thanks for all your comments on my last post. For anyone who didn’t yet read it, here it is: Asian Girl Dating Choices Part I
I first saw this article on someone’s Facebook page. I noticed a lot of comments and a strong reaction. I wanted to get a debate “conversation” going with you guys and I thought this would be a good article to elicit some emotions.
I have mixed emotions and several thoughts about this article. Remember, this is an English learning website and we should be able to respectfully agree or disagree with each other. I don’t expect everyone to share my views, but at least they will help your English.
First of all, I think this girl was trying to make a popular article. Any writer knows that if you write something more controversial, something that will make people more emotional, you will get more readers. I don’t believe she wouldn’t date an Asian man in real life, if she found the perfect guy. Who knows, maybe her heart just got broken, maybe she had a few bad experiences, maybe Asian men don’t really like her. Maybe she’s jealous of other Asian women who are physically better looking. I don’t know, but I can imagine many possibilities.
One thing I find a bit “funny” is that some people find it so offensive. Here is my point. If a white guy said, “I only like dating Asian girls because they are sweet and pretty” it would be the most boring article in the world. No one would be talking about it. People would think, “ya, that’s normal. Lot’s of white guys are like that”. No one would think that the white man is a racist to white girls. No one would think he’s got serious emotional and self esteem problems. People would just think, “so what, he likes Asian chicks”.
So my question is, “Why is it any different that an Asian girl wrote that”? What is so interesting about that? She is allowed to date whoever she wants. We all are.
People are treating this girl like she’s an emotional psycho. It’s not like she’s super hateful and wants to kill or hurt anyone. She just seems to be happy dating certain people based on her experience. AND… She’s probably making decent money at writing emotional blogs that people read.
I’d love to hear your thoughts guys. (Please don’t get angry with me if you disagree. I’m the least racist person ever. I’m just playing devil’s advocate and want to give you guys a place to practice debating and arguing in English) I’m very curious to hear what you think of these opinions. Please share with your friends too and let’s get more people writing and discussing stuff.
September 10th, 2012 at 11:02 am
Hi guys, I like it a lot and I enjoy arguing and thinking especially of English . 1. Because my life is like you guys, I like to expose a different perspective of things and to provoke people. Which many do not like, but that’s me, I can not change. I want to make them think.I notice that when something is presented as information no one wonders is it true, from where and for what purpose it is. As for the article I want to say that all the things that you guys mention an idea is true and could be da reason for this article. But there is one thing I think true. This anger and hatred comes from the state itself, in exactly the politicians in it. Why ??? Because 22 years ago my country Bulgaria was under the same Communist regime, and I know how it feels just that girl. The purpose of this Communist regime is not have smart people in the country, and they are as dumb animals, because a simple people most easily managed.And I think the only way this girl to write something. because if She say that the street will be beaten, I know this from experience. This is my point. I’d love to hear more opinions from people who are Communist regime or they have ever been
September 11th, 2012 at 1:10 am
I agree with you! I thought the same thing at the first time I saw part one!
She is getting a lot of money with this post, I guess it.
And I always thougt about it, It is not a racism if you want either black or white person, it’s just about the experience you have lived yet, It’s my opnion
September 11th, 2012 at 3:41 am
You said,”Why is it any different that an Asian girl wrote that”. As all of us know there is racial discrimination between Caucasians and Asians in the world so if Asian girl says she won’t date asian guys, it sounds that the article’s theme is about racism. I think this article pretends to be like just one asian girl’s grumbling but actually it was written on purpose to provoke hatred among us.
September 11th, 2012 at 5:12 am
quote: “- If a white guy said, “I only like dating Asian girls because they are sweet and pretty” it would be the most boring article in the world.”
Everything depends on the way a white guy says. This girl could have written her article the boring unemotional way and noone would be interested to read. All the same is in a white guy’s case. If he was extremely emotional in his artical he would attract much attention also, no doubt.
September 11th, 2012 at 5:26 am
Hi guys, I like your perspective on this article. I just took the libertity and hand out a copy of this article to my students and asked them the same questions and so far a 16 year old girld whose name is Shideh has given me her opinion in writing that I’m gonna copy and post here. Later on I’d give my own opinion.
Shideh says:
“I think that this girl doesn’t thinnk and doesn’t have any opinion. She just listen to others and copy their ideas. Others can effect easily on her. At first she thought that chinese people in America don’t have any respect because they are immigrants and she wanted to hide her real identity. I think it’s not a healthy way to hide your identity because of others and show it again because of others. as an example when her friend told her that asian girls are exotic beauties she made decision to show that she is chinese while she hide this identity before. In my opinion each person from each side of the world has to protect his or her real identity because it’s an important part of herself.”
September 11th, 2012 at 6:15 am
Hi dude, I totally agree with shideh point of view. I believe that girl tried not only hide her identity but also find new opportunity to change her current status. I mean she is a immigrant and she may be thinking that dating with foreigner might provide her with new opportunity.
September 11th, 2012 at 6:42 am
I’ve got mixed feelings about this girl. I think she is trying her best to tell it as it is and I like her honesty. Most people are not that outspoken. At some parts of the article she uses some storng remarks, stigmatizing her parental culture which I think is not fair and she most probably knows that, but she does this anyway to create an effect and grab attention to her views. There are many things about the way my parents live that i don’t go along with but I don’t regard them as worthless or stupid. My take on these kind of talkings and language is a precursor to cultural evolution.
As to the word “racist”, I think that’s too much. I mean everybody’s like this. Just to be clear, there are many girls that I come across daily and dating them is out of question because they don’t measure up to my expectations and this doesn’t make me racist. If I think I can’t have a good fulfilling life with them, I should say so and hiding this gonna be destructive to either sides of a relationship.
As she rightly pointed out she is part of a trend. Many people prefer and tend to marry somebody from a different culture. At least that’s true in my country and for me.
In my encounters with westeners, they’d rather enjoy the pace, simplicity of life and oriental cultures. It’s new, enriched and flatterinig to them.
In my view, she is very harsh in bashing asian values. anywhere in the world working hard to live a clean life, protecting and fighting for your dreams, helping others and being a good person is virtuous.
Towards the end of the article her thoughts waver and I can’t get hold of that. In a nutshell, she is rebellious, prejudiced, selfish and vain.
September 11th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Great to hear everyone’s points of view.
I’ll be honest, I only read the article once. Lol. My purpose was truly to get a discussion going. I believe true racism is immature and wrong. I also believe that everyone has the right to their own thoughts and opinions. Again, I do think this girl was purposely writing in this aggressive style to get more views and make more money blogging.
As you all know, I’m extremely happy with Asia and I’ve lived here for 10 years. I’ve been to 5 Asian countries in that time, and I will go to Korea and Japan in early October (It will be my first trip to Japan and I’m very excited)
I’ve personally enjoyed all the Asian cultures I’ve experienced and I plan to experience and enjoy more. I think there are many differences between Asian cultures as well. “People from Tokyo or Seoul are much different from the people from small villages in China for example. I’m not saying one is better than the other, it’s just very different. In that way, it makes it difficult to talk about “Asians”. Just like with “white” people, there are so many different types.
I truly hope we can one day completely eliminate racism from this world. I’d like to have a “world passport” and just travel around the world as a “person” rather than a “white boy from Canada”, which is what I am.
I’m fine with someone preferring different aspects from different cultures, but any hatred associated with racism isn’t doing the world any good at all.
Again, I’m guessing she’s either just trying to make a bunch of money blogging, or she’s had some bad personal experiences. I’m happy to see this article is getting more comments and writing from you guys! That’s awesome. Some really well thought out responses.
I’m proud to say the comments on this site are much more mature and adult like than what I see on “Yahoo News” for example.
September 11th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I just read the article. That girl is bitter, she got a lot of issues if making money is not her reason for writing. I don’t hate her though, each of us has our own opinion.,that’s her. But I don’t consider it absolute when she said “I’ll never date asian men”, because as they say and I strongly agree that , THERE’S NOTHING CONSTANT IN THIS WORLD BUT CHANGE..
September 11th, 2012 at 7:13 pm
May be it is late (I just read the article), but i want to express my opinion. About girl and her thoughts. I think “racism” – the attention-getting word – and it`s all. But, I think, the meaning of this word in article have been perverted. She like Asian boys, think that they sexy and her preferences are a color picture of Asian boys (“If we’re being stereotypical about it, well, I like geeky, scrawny and without muscles. I like effeminate. Also, did I mention that Daniel Liu is fucking HOT?”). She just want to live in comfortable conditions between white people – its all. Therewith her beauty could be valued higher not by Asia people – “I just want to be loved, and be in comfort conditions” – I think its all.
September 12th, 2012 at 12:30 am
Everybody has their right who to pick to be their partner(date). Either with the same nationality(race or different. It is everybody choice. As long as they are happy togehter. It is actually a common situation. It happens everywhere. Either in Asia or Europe. For example such as in M’sia, they are a quite number of intermarriage esp. Muslim Malay and Exaptariate. Whether they met in M’sa or someelse and got married. That is common.
Andy please check my English and grammer. That is my actual intention to put my comment here, just to improve my English actually
September 12th, 2012 at 7:48 am
Hi guys
I am agree with Faramarz and Shideh , because i think they explained very well and really i enjoyed it . Actually i want to say should not underestimated yourself.I love Asian people because they are very hot and friendly. Thanks to much.
September 12th, 2012 at 9:03 am
Hi guys
this is my first experiences writing in an English blog. I am going to do my best.
according to the latest theory of geneticist there is nothing as a “race”. our DNA is 99.9% the same. this tiny differences can be ignore in many cases,well it is highly up to you how much confident you are.
September 12th, 2012 at 11:01 am
Hy, Оne thing I agree with you Andrew, that racism will not lead to anything good. but I want to touch one thing I liked a lot that you say (but any hatred associated with racism isn’t doing the world any good at all.). Another it is (I’d like to have a “world passport” and just travel around the world as a “person” rather than a “white boy from Canada ). I want to go back to the Communist system which is currently in China. Communism is one anywhere in the world is created by crazy people. I’ll tell you why ? 22 years ago I was unable to leave Bulgaria, for every Bulgarian citizen who is not a member of this party, it was not possible. Their member have a few selected people. They saying to me how I should dress, what music to listen to, how many children to have, what time to go to bed. It had it all this Communist Party. If you did not make that they want You was beaten or jail.I do not know what the exact purpose of this article, and what a girl wants to say, but I want to say that this is all result and embryo of some stupid politicians who are trying to stop this process of integration, that continue to divide – black and white.
September 12th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Hi Guys,
This is my first comment.
I don’t know what is her real purpose to write this article but I totally don’t like it.
She may have had a problem back in the past or is she just trying to get attention from the people. If she is trying to get attention then there she is. She shouldn’t let other asian read this one. I don’t care that she is going to date me or not but there are a lot of other asian girls who like asian men. As I am asian, I would say that she is crazy.
Sorry guys, if you can’t understand my writing.I just want to give a shot.
September 12th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Well, here’s an opinion from a girl whose date a white man ( or a few, I would say). I’m Asian, like I just said earlier on. The only fact that differentiate me and this ‘racist’ girl is (that’s what she claimed herself) that I actually never lives outside of my hometown. You see I’ve been living here, in Borneo for the past 30 years! But of course I’ve been travelling in my neighborhood countries and that is a contribution of my white boyfriend. I wouldn’t say that I’m a racist, that’s not true. I dated an Asian men before, three Asians men to be more precise. These three Asians clearly somehow shared the same attitude, they all want to go out with my female friends after we’ve been dating a few time, I mean honestly? Don’t they know the rules of dating? Respect and NEVER a friend of the girl that you’re dating. I would rather like to think that this kind of attitude is very common among Asians, at least where I lives, yep, no doubt on that. Most of the male friends that I know tend to have their eyes on ‘other girl’ that is a friend’s of the girl they’re dating. Yuck, Not to mention they are too selfish and refuse to use a condom for protection, should have been more tougher in this one. It wouldn’t be fair to judge that all the Asians men carry the same bad attitude, I must confess I’ve met a few decent Asians men. I started dating a white man after a while, they are more open in conversations, which makes me feels more comfortable and they are not pushy, they take their time to get to know you, plus there isn’t any unnecessary crazy jealousy. I’m a woman of no nonsense. Hurtful experienced tought me to appreciate myself.
I witnessed a lot of complicated relationship among my female friends who dates an Asian men, not that there isn’t any relationship issues for the white people but as far as my experienced dating a few white man, I’ve never gotten into the tiniest bit of argument, but we talk with sense not emotion. My apologies to any Asians men that’s reading this, but that’s my point of view. Speaking from experienced.
September 15th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
A friend of mine and me had pretty interesting conversation about why people in Europe don’t like Americans. I know, it’s totally different topic, but I think you might be interested and write some block about it.
Here is a few sentences from my e-mail:
A: On my trip in Poland I met people very easily just by talking English in the bar asking the bartender for a drink. I met a lot of interesting people. Slavic people are not only really sociable but a lot of fun. Only once in a while I ran into assholes, most of them in Poland for some reason. And I am half Polish. There are a bunch of very conservative skin head like types there that do not like to see Americans walking around spending money that they do not have, which I can understand, but it was not like I was showing it off. I was back packing.
B: Yes, you’re right, you can find many people who don’t like Americans especially black people. It’s pretty sad but true.
I totally disagree with this attitude and I think it’s absolutely nonsense when people judge you because of your race or color
of skin.
A: Regarding some Poles not liking Americans and especially blacks, that is a shame. I can understand why some would not like Americans in general. During the Bush administration, we became the assholes of the world. A lot of Americans that supported Bush say that they don´t care what others think of us, but I think they are only lying to themselves. The truth is, they do care. It´s what makes them so prideful of themselves being Americans. I feel very fortunate to be an American but with that comes responsibilities. Because the U.S. is a superpower, Americans need be very mindful of NOT starting wars. Theodore Roosevelt described it well when he said, “Walk softly (quietly) but carry a big stick”. And we need to help those throughout the world who need help. We would expect the same if we were not a superpower. And the U.S. won´t be a superpower forever. So, now is the time to show our good intentions. We caused a lot of problems, especially in the middle east with our greed for their oil, and now is the time to repair the damage. Unfortunately, there are still those in the U.S. who want to continue to be assholes of the world. They think it´s cool to thump their chests and act like they are the ones that are so tough. But those who pump their chests the loudest are the ones that don´t go to wars, but just sit on the sidelines acting tough. It´s disgraceful and there are many of these types of people unbelievably in our government. I´m embarrassed whenever they open their mouths because when they do, something unbelievably stupid comes out. I know some of these people personally and it amazes me at how ignorant they are in their beliefs. Cable news (e.g. FOX NEWS) and talk radio (e.g. Rush Limbaugh) are tools of propaganda. The Nazi Joseph Goebbels said, “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.” This is what has happened here in the U.S. with about 1/3 of the population. It is not the majority, but it is enough to swing elections and keep crazy people like this in power.
OK, that was enough…we kept this conversation for a long time…
I hope that you take something from this topic and you will write some interesting block about it.
Have a nice weekend guys !!!
September 17th, 2012 at 7:31 am
Hi ,I agree with you.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:18 pm
When I first read the article I had a mixture of feelings. On the one hand, I thought that the reason she thinks that is because she doesn´t want to live around conservative people and she thinks that all of them are. On the other hand, I thought that she was a bit crazy, because I didn´t know that they were people thinking like that. When I read your opinion Add, I agreed with you that if she had been a white boy saying she likes Asian girls, it would be very normal… But for me it is not the same saying that you like sth or that you will never like sth. If a white girl said that she would never date a white boy, it would be also a bit strange. A kind of a psychological trauma or sth like that.
September 28th, 2012 at 10:26 am
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July 7th, 2014 at 7:33 pm
I think she sound a bit racist because of the language she used. The comparison you did with the guy who likes dating asian girls was to some extent misleading. Let me explain my point.
The guy mentioned about you said that he likes dates only asian girls – that does not seem to be something negative. But if he kept saying that he was not going to date any white girl – that would make me think about him as a sort of “racist”. I used quatation mark on puropse, because it is not fair to call someone racist if they do not harm other people.
I gues that what you tried to said is that society is often more tolerant toward men than women. Some women behaviours are not acceptable in society and at the same time man are allowed to behave in a way that is unthinkable for women. Why is that ? I guess that is racism.