Giving opinions
Lately I’ve noticed another cultural difference that I thought I’d point out. This difference doesn’t bother me personally, but I’ve heard many people I know comment on it. This difference is regarding when and how to give other people your personal opinion. I think westerners are cautious when giving their opinions, if the opinion is negative. (Of course I am not talking about everyone, but just in general). The example comes about when I tell people about this website. I tell many people about it, both Chinese and western. The responses are quite different.
I’ve noticed that in general when I tell a westerner about this website, they say, “Oh that sounds like a good idea” or something very general. If they seem more interested they ask “How’s it going? Are you making money?” “How many people visit the site?” or “How much money was it to start?” If the person is very close to me, like a best friend or a family member, they will ask me many more questions and talk more about it. They might give me their negative opinions as well. I’m just talking about westerners who I don’t know very well, or I just met.
When I tell asian people I just met, they almost always give me their opinions, even without me asking them. It doesn’t bother me. I like it actually because it gives me ideas. Some people tell me they love the website. Some people tell me its ugly. Some people tell me it should be in other languages. Some say I should pay for advertising. Some say they believe it will be a big success. Some say they don’t think this will work because of some reason. I’ve heard hundreds of different things. I know that all of these people are trying to help me, so it doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it done this way. Its just an interesting cultural difference.
I’m sure that the westerners have many different opinions as well about the website. In my experience they seem to keep their opinions to themselves, and just ask questions. We have an expression called being a “know it all”. This is a person who always shares their opinions without anyone asking for them. In our culture this is generally seen as a bad thing. This is why we are very cautious when giving our opinions. I think that our culture says we should keep our opinions to ourselves unless someone asks us for them. Of course we don’t always do this, but I think that is what we believe we should do. If we really do have some advice for someone, we are very very sensitive about how to mention it. We often say something like, “I’m sure you know much more than me about this but I was thinking that maybe paying for advertising would be a good idea. What is your opinion about that?” We would think it is a little rude to just say, “I think you should pay for advertising. Well that’s my opinion” If someone just said that, we would feel that person thinks they really know a lot. This is especially true if you are commenting on something that you don’t really have a lot of personal experience with. If I asked a westerner who already made a very successful website, it is more likely that he or she would just give their opinion because its a topic they know about. We would see it as somewhat disrespectful if some person who doesn’t make websites just freely gave their opinions. We would wonder, “Why do they think they know more than me about this. They don’t even have any experience with this”.
So remember, I don’t really care and I love to hear comments about this website. I just want to say that in general, if you don’t want to upset anyone or sound like a “know it all” then you should be very careful before giving other people your opinions if they don’t ask for them. If you really want to share your opinion, then its better to ask a question. If you ask, “what do you think about paying for advertising?” you are showing that you respect them. This way still shows your opinion without acting like a “know it all”. A question like that is a much safer way to give your opinion. This is especially important to remember in a business environment.
Please share your thoughts. Ha ha. See, I asked for your opinions so feel free to share them.
Andy
August 18th, 2007 at 12:08 am
No comments, as a old saying goes “no news is good news”. Come on, we are looking forward to your next post.
August 20th, 2007 at 5:43 am
Sounds objective.
We always learn or know who we are really, from such differences.
September 28th, 2007 at 4:10 am
I like the webside, it’s wonderful.
I can learn a lot from it & can improve my English very well.
but would you pls help to add more English articles for different readers & learners? as you know there are many different English level’s reader & learners visit your webside. come on.
September 29th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Hey Andrew!
I’ve always been keen on your posts , but I’m particulary interested in this one.Every single person ought to have a consciousness of how to give opinions properly and cautiously without upsetting others as long as most people get nervous whenever you tell them a nagative point of view.Personally, I’m always honest.I tell people not only my positive opinions but my nagative ones as well if I feel it’s necessary to do so.
Now that I commented on your post , it’s time to comment on your site in general.China232.com is the most interesting site I’ve ever come across.It helped me a lot as I’m learning American English.I recommended it to all my classmates and friends.They all liked it , and they’re all learning from it.I’m fond of your podcasts and your accent .I’m proud of you guys.Say hello to your brother and keep up the good work.I’m looking forward to reading your next posts. ( and plz correct my mistakes)
Anas
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December 4th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Here it goes Andy,
I support your opinion! If somebody enforce you to receive their opinions which you did not ask for, it is definitely rude.
Just from my understanding concerning this problem, I assume the behavior that the westerner would have, which you mentioned here, would be similar if they are facing you, right?!
And I believe if the people, who you defined as who spontaneously gave you their opinions, would behave totally different if they are confronting you personally. I would argue that people who are too repressed to express their opinions in a particular society tend to release their true feeling more willingly in the internet even without caution on other people’s feeling about it. Hope you can therefore get much less feeling like being bothered by them, although they ARE actually sometimes annoying.
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