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Give Yourself a Break

It’s a beautiful day here in Shanghai.  I’m feeling pretty good today and I wanted to share some simple, but good advice with you.

Give yourself a break!  What do I mean?  I’m not talking about a holiday (although, going on a holiday is pretty sweet).

I’m just talking about giving yourself a break from any feelings you have of guilt.  We all have things that we’re feeling guilty about, maybe not super guilty, but even just a little.

Maybe your diet hasn’t been great lately.  Maybe you haven’t been the greatest boyfriend or girlfriend in your relationship lately.  Maybe you aren’t happy with how little you’ve been exercising or studying.  Maybe you have been doing as well as you’d like in business or at work.  I don’t know.  But I am guessing there is probably at least one thing in your life where you feel like you are kind of  blaming or even hating yourself in some way.

My advice today is simple:  Take a break from any self-hate, guilt, or worry that you have for at least today.  Just take a moment to realize that this worry and guilt you feel isn’t helping you.

I’m not saying that you should just do whatever you want and not care anymore.  I’m just suggesting that you take one day to completely forgive yourself 100% for anything that you are blaming yourself for.  Forget about what you did or didn’t do.  The blame isn’t helping the situation.  You should also stop blaming other people or outside events.  Just accept whatever situation you are in, at least for today.  See how you feel.

Just smile, relax, and enjoy being you.  None of us are perfect and we all have things we are blaming ourselves for.  It sucks our energy and makes us feel less confident, less happy, and just worse in pretty much every way.  This self blame, even if it is pretty small, isn’t helping the people around you either.

So just let go of any pain from the past that you are holding onto.  Today is a new day and you can change anything in your life starting now.  It will be a lot easier to do this if you can stop dragging the pain from the past into each and every day.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.   Your responses to the last blog were absolutely amazing by the way!

Have a great day :)

26 Responses to “Give Yourself a Break”

  1. uno21 Says:

    your blog works effectively !
    because of your regular blog(keep going this way) ,
    i could get your site frequently not as before!!
    this one’s topic is great as well.
    remind me of what i’ve forgot for some reason
    happy weekend to both of you guys!! ///////////// sung

  2. Val Says:

    Hey, Andy! =) Good job, a bit of psychology on =) I love psychology, have read so much on psychology, self- development, philosophy, but your today’s advice is still very important to me. Because my perfectionism is my biggest problem, I always demand unreasonably much from myself and from people around me. As a result, it’s not good for either of us. I forgot when I simply could relax and not think about my current problems. So, I guess I am permanently under some kind of pressure. And after reading your post I think again- why? Is this more important then my own peace and happiness? Of course, people around me are not happy with my exactingness either. My criticism makes them feel frustration and anger, not nearly the wish to change and become better which I intend to cause.=)
    I feel I should try to change myself in this, maybe eventually something will turn out;)

  3. Meylis Says:

    Hi Andy!) first of all I want to say that your website is the best for learners English, and I’m really happy that there are guys like you…
    Now I want to talk about your topic. I find it very interesting and i thought I’m not only… It is really hard to stop thinking about the problems that we all have and it is horrible to stop beleive in yorself, anyway it is good advice… and I think we should start living more positively)
    thank you and good luck

  4. Wal Says:

    Thanks for these thoughts. A feeling of guilt is not good at all.
    Thanks for your interesting website.

  5. fabian Says:

    Good idea, lately I have been doing silly things and I spend time feeling guilty by my self.
    I need to gathering all my energy in good thoughts.

  6. xiw Says:

    How do you relax? I always feel guilty when I try to take a break but think about all the things should be done that I haven’t started at all…

  7. Susie Says:

    Thank you so much, now I feel much better. By the way, how is your pretty cat?

  8. meme Says:

    :) ;)

    When I woke in the morning I feel a little frustrated and upset Y cus of my ROUTINE life SO I’d had it

    BUT when I open my Email and c the mail’s and enter to the blog and read the title of the topic I felt :) and have a little :) in mouth :)

    and I think to my self a break of happens :)
    THANX for giving us a chance TO feel Happy OR remind us to LET IT GO :)


  9. arezoo Says:

    oh my god.
    how can I blame my daughter? It’s really difficult.

  10. Lily Says:

    Hi, guys!
    your topic today is exactly about me. I’m tired to feel that i’m doing things wrong and wasting my time. i blame myself for it often. Thanks to you, today I will be relaxed and happy! very interesting and important psychological advice

  11. hamid reza Says:

    I broke up with my previous girl friend. we were supposed to get married. I made decisions to go to foreign country to study and live there but she did like to stay in her homeland. I really loved her may be it wasn’t enough, I don’t know. Anyway, I split up with her and more than two years has passed from that time. I am blaming myself for that but I think I should stop thinking about it and moving on.
    thanks again for your blog. I also like
    keep going guys

  12. musab Says:

    hey Andy , well , it’s great to talk about forgiving ourselves , from time we need a friend to talk with , just to say what is lying deeply in ourselves , as you just said we all have some kind of problem , we all feel stressed more than once in our lives , family , work or any public affair could gives us some kind of stress , at the same time we have the chance to manage our stresses and have a good life :-) :-)
    better life for all ♥

  13. Kingfisher Says:

    The ideas totally work for me and they are so inspiring.
    Good blog :) :)

  14. pt Says:

    Andy it was an amazing and positive topic! I loved it! Smile that’s the most important thing in life :) it’s been a pleasure to read this blog :) good stuff! :)

  15. Lenel Says:

    Thank’s guys, the advice is really vital cause sometimes, even if it is accidentally, i stay in my situation of guilt.
    Keep on!

  16. Jane Says:

    Hello, guys
    This post is very positive, it’s perfect for me, because i always feel guilt for everything, even it’s not a big deal. :(

  17. Isa Says:

    Hello guys,
    I received your Email for the first time,it was so amazing and interesting.I was very sad and frustrated but your Email changed my attitudes and opinions about life .I think we must live happily and joyful .We must smile to our problems and looking for some ways to solve our problems in our life.I think girl friends can help us live happily.I am not good in writing English ,If you have incorrect sentences in my notes,just smile at me .ok?
    Isa -B.T from Iran- Bandar Abbass.

  18. Artur Says:

    HI ADD and ANDY. Thanks for this blog. I really appreciate it. And I have to admit that this blog helps me, with some extend, to realize that it’s true. We don’t have to worry about our life, career, money, relationship and stuff like this every single moment, which I’m doing at the moment :( It’s terrible and it’s sucks life out of me. Right mow I have a trouble at my work. Even if I can’t to fix it, I still worried about is. All stuff is sucks, actually. I don’t have a good job, i don’t have a good education to get a better job, i have a bad relationships with my girlfriend. Anyway everything will be alright. I’m sure. Just, I have to relax and keep going studying English, Improve my career, relationships with my girlfriend, and actually improve whole my live

  19. holy Says:

    great! we just can’ waste our time and energy on negtive ugly and disgussing things ,remind ourselves now and then,there are still countless wanderful things waiting us to exlplor and exprience. we won’t say we will give up our life because we meet a dirty dog ,shall we ? so ,you guys see ,we should have a positive attitude toward life ,even though life itself could really be very tough ,come on ,believe in ourselves and we can make it through !

  20. paul harris Says:

    cool! good advise i love to read it from you

  21. Arwa Says:

    Hi guys,

    I appreciate the advice.
    Lately, I’ve been through a lot of self punishment
    I felt everything is black and my life will never be as peacefull as it was

    I fed up with the self resentment when I had the flu last week
    That whern i started feeling guilty a lot more, a lot worse.

    I was letterly in a horrible condition.

    The solution was to think of all the stumbling blocks I had overcome.
    Since I began thinking that way my life became much better.

    Another thing, I used to think of my track in life and how the thing I did has sent me off track
    I was constantly thinking ” I am off track!”
    Later, I said to myself what I did was a must-do step to get wiser and more experienced.

    I hope you all a peaceful and happy life :)

  22. julio Says:

    Thank for your advice about not taking the guilt trip . I can´t help but noticing that some people like to carry over their shoulders a backpack full of “what if” instead of moving on with their lifes

  23. Ridvan Says:

    As a person who living this kind of problems, I am totally with you Andy. This feelings doesn’t profit all but just make us upset and tired. Thank you for this benefitial blog and keep going man, you know how to write the blog.

  24. Samantha Says:

    Thanks!I totally aggree with this blog! Since life is short and all we need to do is to enjoy it. Sadness doesn’t help anything, while happiness can makes people look more energetic and young!

  25. antanidas Says:

    hi guys.
    it is a real problem of our society nowadays.
    i believe we can reduce our stress and pain with neglecting them,but we must use them as the great experiences to stop us for making the same wrong things as before have the way i like your topic.
    thanks alot

  26. rajesh Says:

    Andy, its cool! after i read your this fantastic blog. it gives me pleasure to feel in myself. You guys are doing pretty good job for everyone around the world.Keep it up.

    I too keep making myself confident towards speak fine English.

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